mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
