That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
