Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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