I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
