I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I want her autograph on my taint
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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