i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
