i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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