I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
