i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
