Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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