i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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