Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
