It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
