Say something about gay babies.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Couch. On fire.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
