I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
