I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
