Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
