you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
