Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Your mouth is God's brothel.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
