i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize