heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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