I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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