Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize