Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
