It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
