God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dick has a subreddit
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
