she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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