they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
