IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
