When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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