I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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