just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
