There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
