Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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