I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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