Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
