In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you never un-have a 4some
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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