Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
