2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
