He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
