Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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