in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize