So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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