Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
