you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
