ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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