And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize