so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
