After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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