Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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