This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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