i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
