You're my little dorito
I wanna passion pit in your ass
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
