I smell stomach acid.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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