Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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