Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
