no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
