we made out on top of his cat.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just pee around me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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