just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
