Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
