Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
