Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this boner is exhausting
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
