Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
