i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
