They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
